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Mary's Gone Crackers: Taking the Joy Out of Snacking

 Product Review: Twigs and crackers from Mary's Gone Crackers

           When I was given some Chipotle Tomato Sticks & Twigs by Mary’s Gone Crackers, I was very excited to try them. After all, who wouldn’t want to try a flavorful, savory snack? The lonely cracker stood by for so long with barely an interesting flavor in sight. Then a few years ago, up popped ranch-flavored, pepper-jack-inspired, spicy-Thai-essenced crackers all over the place. So when I got a package of these snacks to enjoy while in Portland, OR, I dug in. You’d think it would have struck me instantly, but because I was so hungry and thought the pretzels would be so tasty, it took me a full 9 seconds to realize that I was eating something utterly disgusting.Mary must have gone crazy to invent snacks this terrible

            Where was the zing? Where was the rich flavor? Where was something that didn’t taste like cardboard? I offered a cracker to a friend, and when he quickly made a face, I realized I wasn’t alone in my thoughts that this had been one of the worst crackers of my life. Sure it was gluten-free, so it’s probably not going to taste like a normal cracker, but must the folks at Mary’s take all the punch out of wheat-free snacking?

            I didn’t give the company much thought until the NYC Fancy Food Show, where again I had the chance to sample these crackers. They did, after all, win a SOFI Gold the other year. Perhaps I had tasted a bad batch. Still, I avoided a sample. Though the woman handing out snacks was sweet, I decided not to risk my taste buds for the day. But what’s an ETR review without a fair chance?

 They look good, but these Black Pepper Crackers are, sadly, the worst I've ever tasted               So in the end, I received some samples. One whiff of the Black Pepper Crackers and I remembered why I should always trust my instincts. With a completely disgusting, nearly putrid smell, it was obvious that these crackers were never made for human consumption. Thicker than a cracker should be, but packed chalk-full (yes, that was on purpose) of tasty-looking crunchy seeds, these crackers are among the worst things I’ve ever eaten. Please do yourself a favor, and never sniff, taste, or otherwise consume these crackers. They give gluten-free a terrible image, and I’m never eating this brand again.

Here's the contact info, but why would you do that to yourself?

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